


Unlovable

by knighthart



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, POV Harry Hart, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24552550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knighthart/pseuds/knighthart
Summary: Harry thought he was unlovable, then Eggsy showed up on his life.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	Unlovable

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my language, be nice, but feel free to correct me if you want. This was a prompt that @limrx gave me on Tumblr. You can find me there as @knightthart or on twitter as @knighthart.
> 
> This work was also based in the song Unlovable by The Smiths.
> 
> Enjoy the fic!

For a long time, Harry Hart thought he was unlovable. Odd, don't you think? Harry was born in a rich family and, although he wasn't the most handsome of the blokes, he had his charm. He was also very smart, could keep up with a conversation about any kind of subject, and he was almost sure that he wasn't a fucking jerk, like most of the people he met while growing up. 

Still, his parents didn't seem so interested in showing him affection or even in talk with him. Sure, they loved to praise Harry's capabilities in front of their friends, but they were more proud of themselves than Harry. Harry thought it was highly unfair, but he kept his mouth shut about it in order to preserve his already fragile relationship with his parents. Maybe, they were just too British to love, and Harry prayed that he wouldn't grow up to be like them.

Harry's parents' lack of interest in loving him didn't explain why every other person that Harry came to care about didn't feel the same. Not the house's staff, not the intern school's staff, and not even Harry's classmates. People just seemed indifferent about him, and it tormented Harry in a way that kept him awake at night wondering why.

Through the years, Harry came to a lot of different conclusions. Maybe he was too peculiar for people. He deeply cared for things that most people didn't give a fuck about; like studying butterflies, he was also very opinionated in a way that could be very intolerant, and he just didn't care a lot about things that people held with the highest regards, as the monarchy for his parent's despair.

As he grew older, Harry started to think that the problem was the world where he was born into. The fake smiles, the rumors, and the lies to keep a perfect picture in front of others. Maybe he wasn't made for that world, but if that was really the reason, it didn't explain why Harry could navigate on it so well. It didn't explain why Harry was so good at finding secrets, like his father's lovers, and keep them for himself just to use at the right moment. Harry also couldn't understand why he was so good at playing the social game, how he could charm people around and manipulate them like they were chess pieces, and still not be able to get one single of them really interested in him.

One day, he just got tired from dwell about those matters and gave up. It was simple like that. There were moments in his life where Harry thought he was going to finally be able to break the water surface and emerge. When he really thought he would make some friends, find a meaning for his life, maybe even find the love that he desired so much. College was one of these moments, but Harry found out that College wasn't so different from school, and also wasn't so different from the house where he grew up.

Kingsman gave a meaning for Harry's life, and it also gave him his first real friend, Merlin. He loved his job and he liked Merlin. The bald Scottish man was the first to make Harry fell like he wasn't some kind of freak, and it was the first time that Harry didn't feel alone. It was good to have a friend, especially in their line of work. Still, Merlin and Harry were very similar in the sense that both of them were very private, each one of them because of their own reasons. So their relation wasn't enough to fulfill Harry's need. 

Harry got used to his life, it was exciting and he was never bored. It was better than he ever dared to dream about, but there was still a part of Harry that was just.....broken. You see, Harry knew he was a valuable asset, one of the best in the field, he was worth and he definitely felt worth. Harry wasn't humble, he never was. Sometimes he was even very narcissist to the point that he thought he was alone because he was too good for other people and they couldn't keep up with him. However, he would get home at night after a hard mission and get himself drunk in order to forget all those old childish thoughts about being someone just unlovable. 

Then, one day he received a call that he wasn't expecting and Eggsy entered his life like a nutshell. Eggsy was loud, cheek, cunning, smart, gently, and a complete nightmare. As much as Harry thought he was unlovable, he also came to the conclusion that he was also unable of loving someone else the way he wanted to love and be loved. Eggsy was proof that Harry's conclusion was very wrong because he fell in love with the younger man so fast that he couldn't even believe in it.

Eggsy just brought to Harry's life a kind of lightness that it never had. Harry saw himself laughing because of jokes that he would normally see as stupid, he would spend hours on a sofa watching movies with Eggsy just because the other man randomly decided to stop by his house after a mission, and he for the first time was enjoying life in a way he didn't before. Above all, he wanted to share all those pleasing little moments with Eggsy. Harry felt like he was finally under the sun and breathing fresh air.

The scary part of it all is that Harry was almost sure that Eggsy loved him back, and Harry didn't know how to deal with that. Love, as he learned, was very different from the seduction game that he would play during missions or from the social game that he had played his whole life. The fact that he had finally found the part he was missing, that he finally achieved what he had desired for so long was terrifying because he didn't know what he would do if he loses it.

"What were you thinking?" Harry intoned coldly. He was so angry with Eggsy's imprudence that he could bare control of his temper. "You've put yourself under unnecessary risk."

"I did what I needed to do," Eggsy replied grumpily. "And you have no right to be this angry at me, bruv. You are always getting yourself in coma," Eggsy said playfully trying to break the tension. Harry inhaled sharply. "Maybe we should start a club."

"You are suspended from missions," Harry blurted with an unfazed expression. He turned to go away.

"What? You can't do this," Eggsy said grabbing Harry's arm. "I completed the mission and I am fine. I just got a little hurt."

"I'm Arthur and if I think an agent has such low regard for his own life and safety I can ban them from missions and I'll do it as I see fit," Harry argued.

"Harry, stop with this bullshit," Eggsy exclaimed distressed. "If it was any other agent you wouldn't be this mad. I already see it happening, why do you care so much that I took a big risk when you don’t say shit when another agent do the same? This is our job, we do it all the time," he hissed.

"Because it's you, Eggsy," Harry screamed, his face was red and his hair disheveled. "And I'll be dammed if I lose you."

Then Harry mashed his mouth's against Eggsy's in a kiss that was full of craving, despair, and love. Harry put one of his hands on the back of Eggsy's neck and the other one was on his hip. Eggsy was holding his shoulders, and then he was running one of his hands through Harry's hair. It felt like heaven and it felt like hell. Harry was praying for the gods, begging them to let him have it this time, to let him keep it this time. When the kiss ended, both men stood there. Their forehead was touching and they were trying to catch their breaths.

"I love you, please, be more careful," Harry whispered with his eyes closed. He was too afraid of opening them just to find out it was a dream.

"I'll try," Eggsy murmured softly. "I love you too."

"Thank you," Harry said making Eggsy chuckle.

"Just for this or for the kiss?" He asked playfully with a low voice.

"No," Harry said opening his eyes to glare Eggsy's. How could he explain it to him? How Harry could make Eggsy understand what he had given to him? "For everything," Harry declared.


End file.
